Here are some guidelines which can help you be assertive in different situations:
Asserting Yourself in Common University Situations Speak up in class: Many people in University find it difficult to have the confidence to speak up in class. You may feel intimidated by your classmates or professor, or you may be afraid that you may give the wrong answer. Class participation is important for your education, as you learn how to confidently express your ideas and knowledge.
Set boundaries with a roommate: Sharing space with another person means you need to assert yourself as you set boundaries. This may be uncomfortable if you have never had to assert yourself before. When you first move in, you and your roommate need to establish what things you share and what you will not.
Stand up to peer pressure: When you are in University, you may find yourself in situations where you have to stand up to others. You may have to assert yourself to say no if you don’t want to do something. You may have to stand up for what’s right if people are saying hurtful or harmful things to another person.
Conveying Your Needs
State your needs: People are not going to know what you need unless you tell them. Assuming that people know things can lead to problems. Being assertive means that you let people know what you want in a clear way so that your needs are met and there are no problems or feelings of displeasure.
Use “I” statements: When talking to another person, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This helps you express what you want without blaming the other person. This also helps you be responsible for your feelings.
Say no: Part of being assertive is learning to say “no”. Saying no doesn’t mean that you are rejecting a person or being mean/offensive. It means that you are just expressing your unwillingness to do this particular thing. Remember that you don’t have to please everyone. You do not have to do everything everyone wants you to. Do what is right for you. on the other hand in some situations you can Suggest a compromise.
Be patient: If you have never been assertive, you will not learn how to be assertive overnight. That is okay. It may take a while for you to learn how not to be passive or aggressive, or to get the skills of being assertive just right. Keep practicing, the more you practice the skills of assertiveness, the more comfortable you will become.
Being Assertive in a Conversation
Use proper body language and tone of voice: When you speak assertively, you should adopt the proper cues in your voice and body. Your body should be relaxed and open, which invites communication. Your voice should be firm, but also calm and audible.
Speak with facts: To be assertive, you should learn how to speak in facts instead of criticisms or judgments. This helps to avoid any defensiveness or blame and instead keep the conversation constructive & positive.
Use clear statements: When communicating what you want, you should use clear, direct language. Use statements like “I want…,” “I need…,” “I disagree. I think…,” or “I won’t…”
Listen to the other person: A good part of being assertive is listening to the other person. This includes their opinions, their suggestions, or their concerns. Remaining calm and respectful helps keep the conversation constructive and helps both of you to be heard.
Kalinga Plus is an initiative by Kalinga University, Raipur. The main objective of this to disseminate knowledge and guide students & working professionals.
This platform will guide pre – post university level students.
Pre University Level – IX –XII grade students when they decide streams and choose their career
Post University level – when A student joins corporate & needs to handle the workplace challenges effectively.
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